Why is it so Easy to Hate People?

This is a topic that has been stirring in my head for months now, and I have to talk about it. I’m sure many of you reading this would think, I dont hate anyone…I just dislike them!…Or maybe you are one of those people that equally hate everyone. At any note, this topic may be right up your alley.

As I am writing this, I am reminded of the many conflicts that I have encountered through the years and sit back and wonder, were all my actions justified? Were all those conflicts worth it? As a little voice in my head says, of course, they all deserved every bit of it. You are a smart individual, you know more than the average person, you are always right.

Only to sit and have remorse for my actions as my soul judges me, as my conscience says you are wrong! They were not worth the heart ache, the stress the guilt…I am reminded of a verse that Paul said;

I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my flesh; for I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For I do not do the good I want to do. Instead, I keep on doing the evil I do not want to do. 20And if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. Galations 3:18

I have had many moments in the past year where I have had moments of weakness. I have been faced with decisions, even cross roads to end relationships…I have starred in the face of hate and I have been overtaken by its chains and grips of power.

It is simple to hate, in fact if the idea is entertained to hate people, it will become part of who you are.

I heard a little saying, that you chose friends on not on the commonalities but on the same view of who and what you dislike or hate! In other words, hatred unites many. They come together for a greater evil to hate others as a big group. Its very simple to see this, just go on twitter or facebook and google Trump, and see what pops up. There is so much hate in this world. People have developed a special ability to spit in the face of others.

Manners have died with the concept of Man and Woman as a separation of both equality and biology. Its frowned upon to be silent, its encouraged to be loud and proud! To be opinionated. To be right. To humiliate. To embarrass with no guilt or remorse! To point out flaws and imperfections. To discredit! To enrage! To provoke! TO ANGER! TO ENRAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I say this because this has been my struggle for years. It is very easy to dislike people, to even hate people. It takes little to no effort. And even easier to convince others around you to join the train. It is very easy to be rude, to put others down and to develop a high opinion of ones self.

However, it is hard to be wise, to be slow to speak, to be humble and to hold back judgement on others.

I am a person of justice and I always want justice to prevail – even if that means often times having to enforce this justice myself.! But I know that this isnt the way, often times I am reminded of Peter constantly trying to protect Jesus and the disciples, Almost killing a guard by cutting off the ear of the guard.

Often times I see myself as Peter being passionate in the moment, willing to do just about anything for Jesus, just as long as he is doing everything for me. Then when the pressure prevails, similar to peter after Jesus was captured. He denied Jesus 3 times. Did he not know he would deny Jesus, strangely enough Jesus even warned him about this. It still didnt stop Peter from acting like Simon and forsaking Jesus in the trials of his life.

We are all faced with these types of trials throughout our lives, we may deal with difficult family members, even difficult parents. We should never forget who we are, we are children of God. We must constantly remind ourselves that we are just here temporarily and not for eternity. We must remember that the people in our lives were planted there intentionally and are just as broken inside as we are. Its our duty to help each other and not bring each other down.

So we must humble ourselves, swallow our pride and do the right thing, even if that means being left offended (THIS IS THE HARDEST THING FOR MANY)! Even if it means not having the last word. Even if it means living by example. It is very hard to love others, especially when you are well aware of their flaws and imperfections. It easy to call them names and bash on their life and integrity! Its hard to say something nice, its hard to notice good traits among the bad ones. Its very hard to say “Im Sorry” or “I was Wrong” because we live in a world where we have to be right! We have to be the most intelligent! We like to make fun of others at their expense. We love to tell off the clerk at the local Walmart of how incompetent she is! We love to tell our husbands that we dont need them and they are useless!

To love is one of the greatest commandments given by God himself….When asked which is the greatest commandment, Jesus replied, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. … Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”

He knew when saying how tough this would be. So who is Jesus referring to? Literally our next door neighbors? Maybe. Do you get along with your neighbor? Do you have conflicts over property lines, or how loud their music is at night? Do you have disputed and lawsuits over petty reasons? Is that what Christ meant by loving thy neighbor? Many of us may indeed have actual problems with our true neighbors, but for many – those neighbors are not literally our neighbors, but the people we encounter in our daily lives. We are always faced with these challenges in our daily lives, we are faced with moments where we can say, “you know, its not a big deal, I forgive you.” but we choose to say “Oh how dare you, I dont deserve to be treated like this” The truth is, we are all sinners and the truth is you deserve a lot worse than this life, no matter how bad it may be. We are all because of our sin deserve to go to hell, but because of the Christ we are saved through his grace towards us.

So the next time you are tempted to say, or even think “I deserve better” just remember who we really are…lost sheep in a world full of sin. There are no victims in Gods eyes…dont play the victim card.

So why is it so hard to Love is the question? Why did Jesus command us to love him and to love our neighbor? Because the truth is when we truly love God, we will struggle to hate people, our Spirit will not allow us to. When we are focusing on Christ we are incapable of hating others. When we truly find that intimate relationship with Christ, through prayer and devotion we will live in his reflection. Its when we walk away from his image is when we struggle to be humble and be kind-hearted to others. When we have no relationship with Christ all our relationships are empty and meaningless. They are very superficial.

Why is it so easy to dislike or even hate people? Well, its because its our nature, its our flesh. Everyone has feelings. Many of which struggle to control those feelings. Many of us allow those feelings to control our entire lives – like an emotional roller coaster. Those emotions are responsible for many good things in our lives, like happiness and Love. But some emotions like anger or frustration can lead to a deadly spiritual life – sins like hatred towards a neighbor. We are called to not hate others. For hatred leads to spiritual death. When we plant hatred in our hearts that hate keep us from being able to grow spiritually. And often times that hate if it goes unresolved can turn into its wicked step sister: Resentment. These may follow with guilt and remorse which can really be difficult to overcome. How easy is it for you to swear or yell at someone in your life? How easy is it for you to humble yourself?

Many people think that drug addicts are a lost cause and have no chances of ever truly recovering, but the truth is, most people struggle with a more serious problem at hand than drugs, they are addicted to self love! Yes, thats right, we love ourselves. Most of our daily problems would seize to exist if we could master the art of dying to ourselves and helping others. If we could devote our lives to help others despite them never doing anything for us in return. Imagine how hard it is to do something for someone for no reason? There has to always be a reason right? What if I told you we are called to help others simply just because we are the kids of God. We do this with no desire to be rewarded, with no secret hidden desire of self gratification. With no means of being rewarded.

I will struggle to stay quite, I will struggle to keep my opinion to myself. I will struggle to not have the last word. I will struggle to keep my eye on the prize. Oh how difficult it is to not be selfish, to not have selfish motives. But I will remember that, one day I will be face to face with Jesus, and will he say “I am very proud of you son, you have made me a very proud father….”

I know I am up against a very hard task, and I know that I will continue to struggle with this, but every time I am the bigger man, every time I humble my pride I am one step closer to the face of Christ. I am one step closer of being more like Christ. I am one step closer to being the man I want to be.

Many of us focus on being the most attractive person we can be, by spending years in the gym only to help sculpt a body that will one day seize to exist. Meanwhile we dont focus on a soul that will live in eternity, oh the irony.

Be courageous in love.

Be willing to humble.

Be ready to serve.