Dealing with Ourselves- The Rough, the tough, and the Ugly

This topic is one that I’ve been meaning to talk about for weeks now. Its a topic that everyone should hear, and definitely something we all need to work on.

We as humans were created by an all mighty God that has emotions. This is precisely why we all experience emotions too. However, most of our emotions are based on our moods. If we are hungry we get cranky, if sleepy we get irritable, if we get sick we feel frustrated…and want to be taken care of. However, God ins’t controlled by a flesh that produces irrational responses.

I’m sure most of us have felt this at one point or another…..

I grew up in a family of 4 kids, we grew up in a middle class family…where we didn’t necessarily need to pass down sneakers, but my parents were definitely savers.  I remember my little sister being so spoiled- being the only girl in the family. My parents gave her extra treatment, and often times this made me jealous.

Why was she the light of the ball, when there were 3 other kids (boys) that deserved just as much attention.Well, it was apparently because she was a female. And apparently females deserve to be treated like royalty! Well, because of the unjust treatment of my parents, I decided I would even the playing fields, so I would always pick on my sister to raise certain emotions out of her, which essentially would get her in trouble.

At a very early age I realized how easy it was to make someone angry, someone happy, someone sad, and so forth….I often times used this to my advantage not gonna lie.

The older I became the more I began to experience emotions myself- Joy, grief, anxiety, anger, sadness, frustration, love, etc…And the older I became the harder it became for me to actually control these emotions. Often times they would be the leading factors why I made most of my decisions. Why I put my foot in my mouth, why I experienced regret, shame, guilt and many many other emotions that followed.

I think we all know what I am talking about. We all live on a roller coaster of emotions. We all at times have a difficulty controlling these emotions.

But what are we suppose to do about these emotions?…

How many of you just have those days where everyone around you is so annoying, you look at your mom, sister, brother, or dad and think …man, why are they so annoying?

Well, the truth is, they aren’t annoying, in fact, they are probably not acting any different than they usually do. But your state of mind is altered by some sort of chemical imbalance therefore they seem to be acting different. You just feel like screaming sometimes…If you are denying this, you are either a robot, or dead….so check right now for a pulse. We are all created equally, the flesh that we reside in is a shelter for our soul. It is a temple for the spirit.

Now here’s the tricky part, knowing this, we must remember one thing. Just because we have these emotions doesn’t mean they need to be expressed. We shouldn’t allow our emotions to control us.

Let me ask you a question, how many people do you know that have a massive temper?Or a person that is always sad, or a person that is always happy? Let me tell you something, that person that’s happy, is also sad at times but chooses to be happy instead…feeling happy is harder than to feel angry, that’s why so many people are angry!

Emotions are not a choice, when we get burned our body will go in to a response mechanism that allows our brain to fight or flight. This is a means of survival for our body, it was designed specifically for our safety. Imagine if you were to put your hand in the fire and not feel a thing, how long do you think you will live if you didn’t have a pain response? Not very long, or you would be all thrashed up…

The emotions are there, but the we have the choice of how we deal with them. Did you know that when you get a angry your brain releases a certain chemical which stimulates your adrenaline in your nervous system? Many people become addicted to this feeling, and make it a massive habit of being angry.

We shouldn’t go off the handle for the smallest things. If a car cuts you off, instead of cursing their entire ancestral background, consider that they are probably in a hurry to get home to a starving child, or a pet. Whenever your spouse makes you angry, smile at her and tell her you love her, that will really grind her gears (hahaha)…Whenever your mom yells at you for not cleaning up your room, tell her you love her just as much as Jesus loved the church…. She might calm down, or ground you…

Well all jokes aside, we know when we are in a situation that can start a Forrest fire if we open our mouth. We shouldn’t let our emotions ruin relationships, just because we want to be right, or have the last word.

If any of you watched Star Trek, you might recall Spock- who’s responses were purely logical, never emotional. So why did God give us emotions?

Well, if you didn’t have emotions the power of will would be irrelevant. For instance, if you just purely responded on logic you would always probably make better decisions. However, because we have emotions the ability to make logical decisions is difficult. This is where it becomes important for us to make the right decision not the wrong one.

That being said, it is important that we learn about managing emotions rather than allowing our emotions to manage us. For example, when we feel angry, it is important to be able to stop, identify that we are angry, examine our hearts to determine why we are angry, and then proceed in a biblical manner. Out-of-control emotions tend not to produce God-honoring results: “Human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires” (James 1:20).

Our emotions, like our minds and bodies, are influenced greatly by the fall of mankind into sin. In other words, our emotions are tainted by our sin nature, and that is why they need controlling. The Bible tells us we are to be controlled by the Holy Spirit, not by our emotions.

Ungodly people will always be controlled by their emotions. When a baby is hungry it cries, when its tired it cries, when it gets angry it throws a tantrum. This is no different than an infant in Christ, when you live in the flesh and not the Spirit, you cannot do the will of the Spirit. Therefore your emotions control your life.

Its one thing to have an emotional roller coaster as a kid, but when we allow these into our adulthood we ruin very important relationships. Ideally, if everyone lived a Godly life, we would never have fights or arguments, but we live in a world of sinners, and people driven by their emotions. So we as Christians are to be the light, the salt of this world, that when a unbeliever spits in your face, cover him with love, so he is confused and becomes interested in that mysterious ability to love other unconditionally.

The way to manage our emotions is to grow in our walk with God. We are transformed through the renewal of our minds (Romans 12:1) and the power of the Holy Spirit—the One who produces in us self-control (Galatians 5:23).